Through the years, I've never been one to
willingly involve myself in grand social events, such as acquaintance parties.
Wherever I go, I tend to bring a heavy aura that guarantees awkwardness in
conversations.
With countless failed attempts to be gregarious
since childhood, I have become an independent, solitary person who enjoys the
thought of being alone, relishing in the simple pleasures of life: the feel of
a book's pages under my fingertips, the fresh air that I inhale, and my own
personal space, the only place where I am entirely free to be myself. So with
that, social gatherings aren't very enticing to me unless my small group of
peers is attending as well. Otherwise, I would skip it out and maybe, read a
novel at home.
But it wasn't the case during the acquaintance
party for the senior high school department.
I'm not sugarcoating anything, but my classmates
now are entirely different from the ones I had before, in a pleasant way of
course. In my grade school and junior high school years, it was not hard to
notice that there established a wall that divided other people from me –or more
accurately, me from other people.
And now, I love that I'm no longer in that
pedestal that other people envisioned I was on before. I love that they see me
for me, rather than what I was known for. I love this different and this
different will continue to spur me on to try new things now that I'm no longer
restrained by anything. Now, I will be able to turn the tables and prove to her
that I will be remembered.
During the 24th of July 2017, I wasn't supposed
to come to school because I joined a book event that lasted longer than what I
would've liked. But despite my disheveled appearance and my exhausted calves, I
packed my mother's homemade spaghetti and finally rode a jeepney after ten minutes of squinting at route signs on
windshields of incorrect others. I knew I was a few hours late when I checked
the huge wall clock by the school entrance, but the fun made up the lost time.
Though the density of the crowd made me dizzy
and I had to sit in a corner almost the whole time, I managed to enjoy the
event with my friends. I almost lost my voice in the chant competition and
also, when I was cheering for my talented friends who represented our strand
for the school jingle interpretation and danced elegantly. I also made a friend
–a beautiful deaf girl who was invited to the program by her younger sister.
With a silly face on, I took pictures with my other friend whose dress had the
same shade of blue as mine.
We all ate and laughed at our own antics. I was
amused to find the spaghetti container empty after I went some food in the main
table. We passed and refused leftover puso
from one another, stuffed some in someone's bag, filled each other's cups with
sparkling soda, initiated a food eating contest and looked at one another with
wide, teasing smiles. After which, my friends and I went down to find a
sparsely occupied quadrangle, we grumbled when the staff turned off the
colorful lights of the big stage just when we were about to take a groufie,
danced sloppily to the upbeat music and commented about the voices of whoever
sang.
It was a whirlwind of a night and if I was asked
if I would live it again, you'll never hear a 'no' from my mouth because when
it happened, I felt that it was the start of my real adolescent days, one that
is brimming with enthusiasm and life. I don't see myself as impartially
sociable right now, but I consider myself as an open-minded and open-hearted
individual that only hopes to change herself into someone that is better and
has incredible faith in her own abilities and principles.
